Relationship dynamics develop
early in life and are influenced by social environments. STI/HIV prevention
programs need to consider romantic relationship dynamics that contribute to
sexual health.
The aim of this study was to examine monogamous patterns,
commitment, and trust in African American adolescent romantic relationships.
The authors also focused on the differences in these dynamics between and
within gender. The way that such dynamics interplay in romantic relationships
has the potential to influence STI/HIV acquisition risk. In-depth interviews
were conducted with 28 African American adolescents aged 14 to 21 living in San
Francisco.
Our results discuss data related to monogamous behaviors,
expectations, and values; trust and respect in romantic relationships;
commitment to romantic relationships; and outcomes of mismatched relationship
expectations. Incorporating gender-specific romantic relationships dynamics can
enhance the effectiveness of prevention programs.
Below: Monogamy and commitment on a continuum. Note: Model illustrates adolescents’ monogamy and commitment in relationships. Monogamy, trust, and respect are all illustrated on the Y axis. Commitment is depicted on the X axis. Males and females fall somewhere along the commitment continuum.
Table 2
Subthemes for Monogamy
| Number | Subtheme | Supporting quotes |
|---|---|---|
| Ml | Multiple concurrent partners valued by males | Most [guys] think they're players, pimps . . . if you're a guy you just . . . have to have more than one female. One as your wifey and one as somebody you just want to just have sex with. . . . Most of them think that's a man's thing to do. (Amir, male, age 18, multiple partners) |
| N_ is dogs. They gonna get on another girl if they like another girl. Because they not trying to settle down. They ain't got no rings on they fingers, so if they see something they like they gonna get it. (Sarah, female, age 15, multiple partners) | ||
| They're looking up to the other brothers . . . [with] five girls . . . it's like a little domino effect. . . . Most young people want to do what their friends do . . . they want to look good . . . it feels good for your friend to say, “Oh, you doing this? Right on.” You feel like the man out there. And most males, they like to feel like, “Okay, I'm strong. I got a way about that. Ain't nobody mess with me . . . .” Makes them feel like they the “man,” manhood, that's what they think. I'm a man now. I got all these girls. (Michael, male, age l8, monogamous) | ||
| Most [guys] is like, they want to be like, “Yeah, I had her. Um hum. So who you going with? Yep, I f_ her, too. Woop de woop de woo.” Just to make theyself seem big, and they hit it. (Kim, female, age 14, monogamous) | ||
| M2 | Multiple sex partners kept a “secret” | You have to hide it, like a player, you have to hide your stuff. . . . If you gonna have more than one female, you have to hide it, because most girls be like, uh uh. They'll be like, I ain't going for that. You stick with me. That's most females. . . . I've never met a female who . . . would not want to be committed to that one person, to that one male. . . . You have to get her to think she's the only one. (Michael, male, age l8, monogamous) |
| He got other girlfriends . . . I already knew this. But . . . he tried to . . . hide it from me, and that's another thing that turned me off about him, because when you try to hide stuff from me, I'm like finding it out. And you know the ‘jects talk, by theyself. So without you even telling nobody, somebody else still know. So it get around, so of course I was gonna find out and what I don't like is that he tried to hide shit from me. (Sarah, female, age l5, multiple partners) | ||
| M3 | Males valued monogamous females | I really do think females is into [sex] as the guys is [in that they like sex]. But they don't put it out as much. Like just like people say, the pimps and the whores thing. A female is a whore if she sleep with more than two, three guys. But if a guy sleep with more than two, three girls, he a pimp. (Samuel, age 16, multiple partners) |
| The guy expect the girl not to cheat on him. The guy expect that let the girl know to be honest with him at all times. (Andre, age l5, multiple partners) |
Table 3
Subthemes for Trust and Respect
| Number | Subtheme | Supporting quotes |
|---|---|---|
| TRI | Mutual monogamy is fundamental to trust and respect | A girlfriend is a somewhat thing that you work on. You develop it throughout weeks, days, or months. You develop trust and different things. . . . Let them know how a man feels sometimes. A girlfriend gotta listen . . . a girlfriend to me is a person that's right by your side. Loyal just to you just like you loyal to them. . . . And I treat a girlfriend like a girlfriend's supposed to be treated . . . with respect. You definitely gotta have responsibility. And just being there just to listen. Just to love. (Ty, male, age 19, multiple sex partners) |
| [My boyfriend] said [he was monogamous], but I don't believe it . . . [I want my relationship with him to develop] . . . honesty. Gotta earn each other's trust. Respect. (Amber, female, age 18) | ||
| TR2 | Communication is important to males | Yeah, a [girlfriend] gets respect. . . . A [girlfriend] . . . I can talk to you about whatever. And I don't mind telling [her] because I seen [she] understand. (Michael, male, age 18) |
| My relationship with my [main] girl is good, because I know we talk about, whatever she don't feel comfortable talking about, she'll tell me. And whenever she think that's unnecessary to do or something, or say, she'll tell me. . . . And you can trust her. She can trust you. (Andre, male, age 15) | ||
| TR3 | Monogamy and love are important to females | [I'm in love with my boyfriend] because if, I never met nobody like him. . . . I never met a guy that's just so, just so good to a woman. . . . That's why I said that I love him, because he's a good (i.e., monogamous) man. (Brittany, female, age 18) |
| I can trust [my boyfriend] more than like all these females around here, like and I don't even know. And he kept just showing like he loved me. I mean, a lot of people can show that they love you, but they can't really love you. . . . (Shawna, female, age 15) |
Table 4
Subthemes for Commitment
| Number | Subtheme | Supporting quotes |
|---|---|---|
| C1 | Females committed with hopes of mutually monogamy | Because [females] feel like well, I can get this one-night stand. Then he can just be my friendly thug. And he could be my actual n_. And this could be my boyfriend. This could be the man I love. (Kim, female, age 14, monogamous and committed) |
| I feel with a male is able to be more honest and more open with hisself and doing what he really want to do or act like he really act, then the really gonna feel you more. That's gonna make him more into you, basically. If you let him be who he really is. (Sarah, female, age 15, multiple partner and committed to her main partner) | ||
| C2 | Mothers committed to fathers despite relationship quality and father's commitment level | He said [he was monogamous], but I don't believe it. . . . Because his reputation [of a whore] and I still see him around females. And I just don't believe that he's just being with me. . . . I mean, it's just, I caught him too many times I know so many girls that he's gonna have sex with, especially since I've been pregnant and since I've had my baby. So I don't trust him. [But I'm in love with him] because, I mean, it's just been over a year. It's the longest I've ever messed with somebody and I felt like I have strong feelings for him. And I just, I don't know, I can't go without him. Everything I think about has to do with him. Our future, our baby, we have a baby together. . . . |
| Interviewer: So how would you like to see your relationship develop with him? | ||
| Amber: Honesty. Gotta earn each other's trust. Respect. (Amber, female, age 18, monogamous and committed) | ||
| Love to me means respect, not getting caught with no B's, not getting hit on. Respecting each other's mind, like telling each other the truth and not lying and not thing to keep stuff hid or behind each other. [And love is important to me] because love is like, it's like the intimates thing, you don't want to get hurt, and you don't want to get heartbroken. (Tasha, female, age 15) | ||
| C3 | Males retain multiple partnership status by not committing | Even though the girl wasn't my girlfriend, she was talking like she was. . . . It made it seem like I was cheating on her [because I had another sex partner at the time] even though I wasn't. She was just a friend. (Samuel, male, age 16) |
| I have a girlfriend and I think our relationship, it's cool to be little, like a little 16-year-old teen relationship. I mean, I don't, I mean, just take it slow, because like I said, I got my whole life ahead of me. Maybe I still be with her; maybe I'll find somebody else. But we still talk, or whatever. We just go out. That's it. (Eric, male, age 16) | ||
| C4 | A few adolescents were irresolute about commitment | She's waiting on me to make that step. But I don't really know right now because it's kind a scary. . . . Like giving up everything and just being with one person. Kinda hard . . . I got too many needs. And she can't really please them all. (Darrel, male, age 19, multiple sex partners and not committed) |
| If I would have left my boyfriend, [my sex partner] would have became my boyfriend . . . but I was really ready [to commit to my boyfriend]. I think I should have not been with my boyfriend. . . . I'm trying to make it work and try to hold, but it wasn't working. But if I would have just like [broke up with him] . . . it's hard to let go sometimes. (Whitney, female, age 19, no current sex partners, not committed) |
Table 5
Subthemes for Outcomes of Mismatched Relationship Expectations
| Number | Subtheme | Supporting quotes |
|---|---|---|
| O1 | Females experienced loss when their hopes of mutual monogamy were unmet | My boyfriend, he had sex with another girl. . . . I guess he thought I wasn't gonna find out. But everybody talks . . . my friends didn't want to hurt [my] feelings, and . . . didn't know how to tell [me]. But my worst enemy telling me, and I'm thinking. . . . I know she laughing her ass off. Because this is my n_, and it make it seem like he don't like me enough to want to be faithful to me or whatever. (Kim, female, age 14) |
| I'd rather be the mistress on the side and know about everything than be the main one. Not in the dark about everything. . . . He can be so open and honest with me. And I don't judge him about it. I think that's what he kinda likes. (Dominique, female, age 19) | ||
| O2 | Two males endorsed regret for being nonmonogamous | I don't like [cheating] too much. I don't like that guilty conscience, like trying to keep . . . yourself from being caught. (Samuel, male, age 15) |
| I just [felt cheating on my girlfriend was] weird. I was like, oh, damn. Cheat on my girl. She gonna find out. . . . So you get nervous . . . afterwards. I thought about it like, damn, I don't believe I'm doing this with her. (Andre, male, age 15) |
Full article at: http://goo.gl/aF8dJz
By:
1Oregon State University, Corvallis, OR,
USA
2DePaul University, Chicago, IL, USA
Corresponding Author: Senna L. Towner, College of Public Health and
Human Sciences, Oregon State University, Hallie E. Ford Center for Healthy
Children and Families, 2631 S. W. Campus Way, Corvallis, OR 97331-8687, USA ; Email: ude.tsro.dino@esrenwot
More at: https://twitter.com/hiv_insight
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