Geosocial Networking App Use among Men Who Have Sex with Men in Serious Romantic Relationships

Geosocial networking (GSN) mobile phone applications ("apps") are used frequently among men who have sex with men (MSM) to socialize and meet sexual partners. Though GSN apps are used by some MSM in partnered relationships, little is known about how the use of GSN apps among MSM in serious romantic relationships can influence couples' sexual and relationship health. MSM in serious relationships (N = 323; M age = 40 years) were recruited through a popular GSN app for MSM. 

Participants completed open-ended items regarding the costs and benefits of app use to their relationships, discussions of app use with their partners, and preferences for relationship education related to app use. 

Reported benefits of app use included improving sex and communication with one's primary partner and fulfilling unmet sexual needs. Although approximately half had not discussed app use with their partners, citing app use as a "non-issue," many cited various drawbacks to app use, including jealousy and being a distraction from the relationship. 

Few described sexual health concerns as a drawback to meeting partners through apps. Regarding relationship education preferences, most wanted help with general communication skills and how to express one's sexual needs to a partner. 

Although GSN app use can enhance relationships and sex among partnered MSM, unclear communication about app use may contribute to negative relationship outcomes and could prevent partners from having sexual needs met. Relationship and sexual health education programs for male couples should consider addressing social media and technology use in their curricula.

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By:  Macapagal K1, Coventry R2, Puckett JA2,3, Phillips G 2nd2, Mustanski B2.

• 1Department of Medical Social Sciences, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, 625 N. Michigan Avenue, Suite 2700, Chicago, IL, 60611, USA. kathryn.macapagal@northwestern.edu.
• 2Department of Medical Social Sciences, Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine, 625 N. Michigan Avenue, Suite 2700, Chicago, IL, 60611, USA.
• 3Department of Psychology, University of South Dakota, Vermillion, SD, USA. 
• Arch Sex Behav. 2016 Mar 11.

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Perceived Challenges and Rewards of Forming a Sexual Agreement among HIV-Negative Male Couples

Sexual agreements, explicit mutual understandings made between two partners about which sexual and related behaviors they agree to engage in within and/or outside of their relationship, are common among male couples. However, little is known about the perceived rewards and challenges partnered men face in the process of forming a sexual agreement. Such knowledge may be useful for the development of future HIV preventive and sexual health programs that encourage male couples to establish a sexual agreement in their relationship. 

By using qualitative dyadic data from a sample of 29 self-reported concordant HIV-negative male couples who had a sexual agreement, the present qualitative study sought to assess partnered men's perceived rewards and challenges of forming a sexual agreement in their relationship and examine whether both men in the couple concurred about their perceived rewards and challenges of forming a sexual agreement. Themes for perceived rewards were:

1. being honest, 
2. improving communication, 
3. increasing understanding about expectations and permitted behaviors, 
4. enhancing intimacy and relational bond, and 
5. building trust. 

Themes for perceived challenges were: 

1. stigma about having an open agreement; 
2. awkwardness about the topic and talking about it; 
3. jealousy; and 
4. no perceived challenges. 

Few couples had both partners concur about their perceived rewards or challenges toward establishing a sexual agreement. The variety of perceived rewards and challenges highlight the need for tailoring given that a variety of factors may influence partnered men's establishment of a sexual agreement in their relationship.

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By:  Mitchell JW1, Lee JY2, Woodyatt C3, Bauermeister J4, Sullivan P3, Stephenson R5.

• 1Department of Public Health Sciences, University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, Miami, FL, 33136, USA. jwm35@med.miami.edu.
• 2Department of Public Health Sciences, University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, Miami, FL, 33136, USA.
• 3Rollins School of Public Health, Emory University, Atlanta, GA, USA.
• 4Department of Health Behavior and Health Education, School of Public Health, and The Center for Sexuality and Health Disparities, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, USA.
• 5Department of Health Behavior and Biological Sciences, School of Nursing, and The Center for Sexuality and Health Disparities, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI, USA. 
• Arch Sex Behav. 2016 Mar 10. 

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'Struggling to be the Alpha': Sources of Tension & Intimate Partner Violence in Same-Sex Relationships Between Men

In countries such as the USA, gay and bisexual men experience high rates of intimate partner violence. However, little is known about the factors that contribute to this form of violence. 

In this study, we examine gay and bisexual men's perceptions of sources of tension in same-sex male relationships and how these may contribute to intimate partner violence. We conducted seven focus-group discussions with 64 gay and bisexual men in Atlanta, GA. Focus groups examined men's reactions to the short-form revised Conflicts Tactics Scale to determine if each item was considered to be intimate partner violence if it were to occur among gay and bisexual men. Analysts completed a thematic analysis, using elements of grounded theory. 

The sources of tension that men identified included: gender role conflict, dyadic inequalities (e.g. differences in income, age, education), differences in 'outness' about sexual identity, substance use, jealousy and external homophobic violence. 

Results suggest that intimate partner violence interventions for gay and bisexual men should address behavioural factors, while also focusing on structural interventions. Interventions that aim to reduce homophobic stigma and redefine male gender roles may help to address some of the tension that contributes to intimate partner violence in same-sex male relationships.

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By:  Goldenberg T1,2, Stephenson R1,2, Freeland R2, Finneran C3, Hadley C4.

• 1a Department of Health Behavior and Biological Sciences , School of Nursing, University of Michigan , Ann Arbor , MI , USA.
• 2b Center for Sexuality and Health Disparities , University of Michigan , Michigan , USA.
• 3c Department of Epidemiology , Rollins School of Public Health, Emory University , Atlanta , GA , USA.
• 4d Department of Anthropology , Emory College of Arts and Sciences , Atlanta , GA , USA. 
• Cult Health Sex. 2016 Mar 11:1-15.

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Gender-Specific Jealousy and Infidelity Norms as Sources of Sexual Health Risk and Violence among Young Coupled Nicaraguans

Gender inequity negatively affects health in Central America. In 2011, we conducted 60 semistructured interviews and 12 photovoice focus groups with young coupled men and women in León, Nicaragua, to explore the ways in which social norms around marriage and gender affect sexual health and gender-based violence. 

Participants' depictions of their experiences revealed gendered norms around infidelity that provided a narrative to justify male expressions of jealousy, which included limiting partner autonomy, sexual coercion, and physical violence against women, and resulted in increased women's risk of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. 

By understanding and taking account of these different narratives and normalized beliefs in developing health- and gender-based violence interventions, such programs might be more effective in promoting gender-equitable attitudes and behaviors among young men and women in Nicaragua.

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By:  Boyce S1, Zeledón P1, Tellez E1, Barrington C1.

• 1At the time of the study, Sabrina Boyce was a US Fulbright fellow in León, Nicaragua. Perla Zeledón and Ever Tellez were with el Centro de Investigación e Intervenciones en Salud, León, Nicaragua. Clare Barrington was with the Department of Health Behavior, Gillings School of Global Public Health, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill. 
• Am J Public Health. 2016 Feb 18:e1-e8.

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Rejection Sensitivity, Jealousy, and the Relationship to Interpersonal Aggression

The development and maintenance of interpersonal relationships lead individuals to risk rejection in the pursuit of acceptance. Some individuals are predisposed to experience a hypersensitivity to rejection that is hypothesized to be related to jealous and aggressive reactions within interpersonal relationships. 

The current study used convenience sampling to recruit 247 young adults to evaluate the relationship between rejection sensitivity, jealousy, and aggression. A mediation model was used to test three hypotheses: Higher scores of rejection sensitivity would be positively correlated to higher scores of aggression (Hypothesis 1); higher scores of rejection sensitivity would be positively correlated to higher scores of jealousy (Hypothesis 2); jealousy would mediate the relationship between rejection sensitivity and aggression (Hypothesis 3). 

Study results suggest a tendency for individuals with high rejection sensitivity to experience higher levels of jealousy, and subsequently have a greater propensity for aggression, than individuals with low rejection sensitivity. 

Future research that substantiates a link between hypersensitivity to rejection, jealousy, and aggression may provide an avenue for prevention, education, or intervention in reducing aggression within interpersonal relationships.

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By:  Murphy AM1, Russell G2.

• 1Cairnmillar Institute, Melbourne, Australia.
• 2Cairnmillar Institute, Melbourne, Australia gemma.russell@cairmillar.org.au.
• J Interpers Violence. 2016 Jan 21. pii: 0886260515622572.  

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Understanding the Lives of Mothers After Incarceration: Moving Beyond Socially Constructed Definitions of Motherhood

In the wake of mass incarceration, an increasing number of women are going through the penal system. A fair number of these women are mothers, yet the intersection of motherhood and prison may contradict conceptions of femininity and challenge traditional views of appropriate mothering. The contradiction between notions of criminality and femininity contributes to stigmatized perceptions of formerly incarcerated mothers, which drastically shapes their ability to reintegrate into society post-incarceration. While reentry efforts tackle gender differences through the implementation of gender-responsive programs that cater to women's needs, failure to adequately account for unique maternal experiences may hinder attempts to address obstacles faced by mothers in particular, such as regaining child custody and paying for day care. This article argues for special attention to the post-incarceration experiences of mothers without imposing socially constructed definitions of motherhood like having custody and living with children, which may not coincide with the realities mothers face after imprisonment. Ideas are also discussed for the inclusive consideration of formerly incarcerated mothers and their post-incarceration experiences...

Employment and financial challenges

Formerly incarcerated individuals often encounter obstacles to obtain and sustain employment, finding themselves with limited opportunities in the low-wage sector (Brown and Bloom 2009; Dodge and Pogrebin 2001; Hagan and Dinovitzer 1999). As a result, they are likely to seek financial assistance from family members to cover daily expenses and outstanding debts, such as court fines (Brown and Bloom 2009). While some receive financial assistance from relatives, this puts a strain on the finances of family members who are less fortunate or also caring for the mothers' children (Dodge and Pogrebin 2001). These employment and financial difficulties may further complicate the act of mothering post-incarceration. Specifically, unstable employment and income can trigger inconsistent routines, financial obstacles to provide for children, difficulties with affordable childcare arrangements, and associated stress that may influence parent–child relationships (Arditti and Few 2008; Brown and Bloom 2009; Edin and Lein 1997; Scott et al. 2004). As written by Brown and Bloom (2009, p. 332): “Reunion with children takes place in situations where the woman is dependent on others and is still not really in control of her own life.” Such financial obstacles can be particularly detrimental for formerly incarcerated mothers, aggravating attempts at reintegrating into society and navigating motherhood amidst desires and expectations to do so.

Living arrangements

Since mothers are likely to have lived with their children and served as primary caretakers pre-incarceration (Glaze and Maruschak 2008; Mumola 2000), they often expect and hope to live with their children upon their release (Baunach, 1985; Brown and Bloom 2009). Yet, mothers face difficulties in finding permanent housing post-incarceration and may encounter unstable housing including homelessness, which presents obstacles as they seek suitable housing for themselves and their children (Roman and Travis 2004). Since the children's fathers are seldom involved or financially stable, mothers are often unable to rely on the fathers and, instead, rely on other family members for the care of their children (Dodge and Pogrebin 2001). They may exhibit gratefulness for family serving as temporary caregivers, but they may also feel jealousy if unable to realistically provide for their children given common difficulties in finding stable, affordable housing post-incarceration (Arditti and Few 2008). Some mothers struggle with attempts to live with their children, yet others decide to leave their children in the care of family to maintain consistency with arrangements made in their physical absence (Michalsen 2011). Some formerly incarcerated mothers may also encounter hostility from their children because of these adjustments, forcing them to balance “their own process of reintegration and the transitions of their loved ones” (Brown and Bloom 2009, p. 325). Thus, changes in mother–child relationships and problems finding stable housing can negatively impact mothers' plans to reside with their children and contribute to preexisting stress after incarceration.

Mothering techniques

Mothers may also struggle to manage motherhood within a correctional system that stresses idealistic notions of femininity and mothering, while penalizing mothers whom diverge from these social constructions (Ferraro and Moe 2003; Haney 2010). For instance, maternal desires to provide for children during financial difficulties are often associated with violations of parole conditions given that mothers are “filled with expectations of caring for others while under the gaze of the state” (Ferraro and Moe 2003, p. 23). In her ethnographic study, Haney (2010) found that some mothers under correctional supervision were deemed “bad mothers” and scolded for treating their children with tough love. However, the mothers deemed tough love as a necessary parenting approach to teach their children survival techniques for the realities faced in their neighborhoods (Haney 2010). Moreover, mothers of color – fraught with racial inequalities in society – often engage in “motherwork” in which they empower children (both biological and non-biological) against the social and structural barriers they collectively confront as racial minorities (Collins 1994; see also O'Reilly 2014). Their tough love parenting serves to protect their children from the dangers in their community and the attention of the police, while the parenting of White middle-class mothers typically places emphasis on the proper education and employment for future success (Brown and Bloom 2009). Formerly incarcerated mothers may also employ discipline and tough love to prevent their children from following in their footsteps and making the same mistakes they made (Hayes 2009). Though mothers justify this parenting approach according to their life circumstances, this approach may not coincide with social constructions of what mothering entails, therefore, exposing them to further stigmatization (Haney 2010). These factors can be particularly problematic for mothers attempting to regain custody of their under-aged children.

  

Full article at:   http://goo.gl/1boU5W

By:  Janet Garcia

Correspondence address: Janet Garcia, School of Criminal Justice, Rutgers University, 123 Washington Street, CLJ 5th Floor, Newark, NJ 07102, USA. E-mail: Janet.Garcia@rutgers.edu

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Upset Over Sexual versus Emotional Infidelity among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Adults

One hypothesis derived from evolutionary perspectives is that men are more upset than women by sexual infidelity and women are more upset than men by emotional infidelity. The proposed explanation is that men, in contrast to women, face the risk of unwittingly investing in genetically unrelated offspring. Most studies, however, have relied on small college or community samples of heterosexual participants. 

We examined upset over sexual versus emotional jealousy among 63,894 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual participants. Participants imagined which would upset them more: their partners having sex with someone else (but not falling in love with them) or their partners falling in love with someone else (but not having sex with them). 

Consistent with this evolutionary perspective, heterosexual men were more likely than heterosexual women to be upset by sexual infidelity (54 vs. 35 %) and less likely than heterosexual women to be upset by emotional infidelity (46 vs. 65 %). This gender difference emerged across age groups, income levels, history of being cheated on, history of being unfaithful, relationship type, and length. 

The gender difference, however, was limited to heterosexual participants. Bisexual men and women did not differ significantly from each other in upset over sexual infidelity (30 vs. 27 %), regardless of whether they were currently dating a man (35 vs. 29 %) or woman (28 vs. 20 %). Gay men and lesbian women also did not differ (32 vs. 34 %). 

The findings present strong evidence that a gender difference exists in a broad sample of U.S. adults, but only among heterosexuals.

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By:  Frederick DA1, Fales MR2.

• 1Department of Psychology, Crean School of Health & Life Sciences, Chapman University, One University Drive, Orange, CA, 92866, USA. enderflies1@aol.com.
• 2Psychology Department, University of California, Los Angeles, CA, USA.
• Arch Sex Behav. 2016 Jan;45(1):175-91. doi: 10.1007/s10508-014-0409-9. Epub 2014 Dec 18. 

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Support to Women Who Denounce Experiences of Violence Based on Her Social Network

Objective:

to analyze the possibilities of help/support through the mapping and acknowledgement of the social network of women who denounce experiences of violence at a Police Precinct for Women.

Method:

qualitative study based on the theoretical-methodological framework of Lia Sanicola's Social Network, through interviews with 19 women.

Results:

the analysis of the network maps evidenced that the primary social network was more present than the secondary on and, despite consisting of significant relations, it demonstrates limitations. The women access the secondary network occasionally in the violence problem and/or its repercussions in their life and health. The discrete presence of the health network in the composition of the social network was revealed and, when mentioned, the relation between the health professional and the woman was characterized as fragile.

Conclusion:

the importance of the social network relates to the creation of spaces of help/support for the women beyond the moment of the aggression, which accompany them throughout their process of emancipation from an experience annulled by violence, considering that each woman acts and makes decisions in the relational context when she is ready for it.

...The mapping revealed a typical social network in which the primary network is more present than the secondary network but, despite being constituted by significant relationships, sometimes demonstrates limitations. The primary social network represents the cultural hub of the social reality, the context in which the essential values for the individuals' life are produced and learned, which are assumed as a fundamental reference point for the people's orientation and action in society⁽ 7 ⁾.The analysis of the interviewees' primary social networks identified an average 2.5 members whom the woman can truly count on and seek help from in violent situations, which is in accordance with research results⁽ 6 ⁾. This help ranged between 1 and 6 people from the primary and secondary network, externalizing the limited possibility of help/support in the violent context.

In the first place, the woman's search for help happens in her own social context, in the family and network of friends, which sometimes does not always represent help to them, but violence, as they feel that their privacy has been invaded⁽ 9 ⁾. Nevertheless, it is verified that the low range of the network interferes in the women's perception of their ability to change their life, being yet another reason to perpetuate the daily reality of violence⁽ 6 ⁾.

The situation of violence the women experienced mobilizes them to access the social network. The women in the study are going through the denouncement process, they are attempting to access a secondary network, while a primary network is already present. The women demand the secondary network at an eventual and punctual moment. They did not experience this demand in the process, but only in the problem, i.e. violence and its repercussions in the women's life and health.

The secondary network the women referred to most predominantly was the formal network, which establishes exchanges of rights from a perspective of social wellbeing. The women who indicated rupture with the service sector network (employment bond) related this occurrence with the negative inference of their former partner and with the episodes of violence experienced in this social space.

In the context of violence, the social network members are moved to help the woman, who demand financial, psychosocial and information help as, in most cases, she is weakened because she needs to take important decisions in her life, such as remaining in the violent relationship or separating from her partner, protecting her children from that violent environment, having conditions to survive, recovering her employment bond, restoring her dignity as a woman, among so many others. At the same time as she looks for and expects this help, however, the social relations are interrupted; motivated by jealousy, domination and submission, resulting in social isolation, which the partner intentionally provoked. This caused the woman's financial dependence on her social network, as the partner also discourages and hampers any employment bonds.

Based on the women's reports, it was verified that, the longer they had lived with their partner, the weaker was their bond with the social network and, consequently, the more restricted was the help and/or support the networks offered. In most cases, this situation of constraint in the social relations was established through the shame of experiencing the violence and sharing this experience with other people, out of fear of retaliations by the partner against themselves and their family, and of being judged for the choices and decisions in the conflicting relationship with the partner...

Full article at:   http://goo.gl/ou3bKw

By:    Letícia Becker Vieira, 2 Ivis Emília de Oliveira Souza, 3 Florence Romijn Tocantins, 4 and Florentina Pina-Roche 5

²PhD, Adjunct Professor, Escola de Enfermagem, Universidade Federal do Rio Grande do Sul, Porto Alegre, RS, Brazil

³PhD, Full Professor, Escola de Enfermagem Anna Nery, Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro, Rio de Janeiro, RJ, Brazil

⁴PhD, Full Professor, Escola de Enfermagem Alfredo Pinto, Universidade Federal do Estado do Rio de Janeiro, Rio de Janeiro, RJ, Brazil

⁵PhD, Full Professor, Faculdad de Enfermería, Universidad de Murcia, Murcia, Spain

Corresponding Author: Letícia Becker Vieira Universidade Federal do Rio Grande do Sul. Escola de Enfermagem Rua São Manoel, 963 Bairro: Rio Branco CEP: 90620-110, Porto Alegre, RS, Brasil E-mail:moc.liamtoh@arieivbel

 

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Urban Adolescent Girls’ Perspectives on Romantic Relationships: Initiation, Involvement, Negotiation, and Conflict

The purpose of this paper was to describe romantic relationships from the perspective of urban, adolescent girls, to address gaps in our understanding of their relationship dimensions. Minority adolescent girls (n = 17) participated in private semi-structured interviews aimed to elicit the understanding of the adolescents’ perspectives on their own relationship experiences and dynamics. 

The research team conducted conventional content analysis of the interview transcripts. Four major themes emerged about romantic relationships: (1) influence of male pursuit and social norms on relationship initiation factors; (2) a romantic partner is a confidant, friend, and companion; (3) negotiating intimacy respectfully; and (4) relationship conflict through control and abuse. 

Adolescents described sub-themes of social norms of male pursuit and relationship pressures that dictated relationship initiation. Relationships were depicted by emotional support, caring, and companionship. Adolescents described positive negotiation skills. However, relationship conflict, including controlling behaviors and violence, was illustrated in these same relationships. 

This study provides a rich description of romantic relationships from the perspectives of urban, adolescent girls. Most salient findings included social pressures and a combination of both positive and negative attributes. 

Implications include the need for intervention development at the community level to address social pressures, recognition of positive adolescent relationship attributes, and facilitation of skills to identify and address low-quality relationship characteristics.

TABLE 1

Quotes representing the four themes

Sub-themes	Quote No.	Illustrative Quote
Theme 1: Influence of Male Pursuit and Social Norms on Relationship Initiation Factors
Male pursuit	1	‘He was the one that was chasing me down.’ (Kendra)
	2	‘I gave him my number, so I just met him, and then in a few days after … is when he gave me a call, and I was like, mm, okay … and he was just calling me and calling me.’ (Rochelle)
	3	‘If you want to chill, you come hit [visit or come to] me; I’m not coming to you.’ (Claudia)
	4	‘Well, [according to] my rules I think a guy should call the girl more often [than the girl calls the guy].’ (Natalia)
	5	‘I don’t like chasing one guy around.’ (Letitia)
	6	‘They persist, oh my god, like this guy in the school, he went to [my locker] every single day and you know, it was just like, I didn’t even pass to my locker anymore, because every time he was like there.’ (Angela)
Social norms (related to relationship initiation and partner selection)	7	‘Well, I guess to me I always kind of feel out of place because I don’t have a boyfriend. And with my friends … they’ve been dating boyfriends for two years, a year, and that’s constantly what they are talking about is their boyfriends and what they are doing. And so I guess sometimes I just feel like I can’t hang out with my friends, because they hang out with their boyfriends.’(Natalia)
	8	‘I didn’t really like him. I just went out with him. I don’t know why I went out with him. You know, to have a boyfriend, I guess. Because a lot of people at school, like just go out with [date]someone just to say they have, with them. But, I don’t think they really like them.’ (Angela)
	9	‘It used to be I had bragging rights [because he was a football player].’ (Diana)
	10	‘All my friends had crushes on him. They all thought he was cute along with his little group of friends, and so they’re like, ‘Yeah, that’s cool,’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, it is.’ (Diana)
		Quotes (11–16) illustrate resistance to social pressures and a pride in independence.
	11	‘I’m trying to be solo right now.’ (Ruby)
	12	‘I see the relationships my friends have, and say, ‘I’m okay by myself. I don’t need no one.’ And I know if I go out, I’ll meet a guy, so I don’t need to have one with me, so I think, ‘Whatever,’ I don’t really mind.’ (Rochelle)
	13	‘It is important [having a boyfriend] to a certain point, but I don’t feel like I need one.’ (Natalia)
	14	‘To me, it is not important [having a boyfriend]. It is not a priority … It is not a necessity … it is good to have someone to keep you from that loneliness that everybody talks about … but in some ways it is bad because it keeps you occupied from other things. Like your work or what you are supposed to be focused on.’ (Jennifer)
	15	‘All I wanted to do was like have a boyfriend, and then after me and Kevin stopped talking [broke-up], I actually realized I didn’t need a boyfriend to complete me, which was awesome, and then I was like I didn’t really need anybody.’ (Kendra)
	16	‘He was sweet. But people think he was ugly but, OK, he was ugly but I saw the part of him that was like, kind of sweet and ‘cause I like sweet, so that’s why I started going out with him.’ (Laura, describing resistance to social pressures regarding partner selection)
Theme 2: A Romantic Partner is a Confidant, Friend, and Companion
Emotional support and caring	17	‘He’s [her boyfriend] somebody I could really talk to.’ (Jasmine)
	18	‘… talk to him about anything.’ (Renee, on why she liked her boyfriend)
	19	‘We talked for hours [when dating]. We always talk, every night it’s different because it’s like I talk to him every single night so far since I met him and it’s just like now, all of a sudden, I don’t have nobody to talk to and I feel so lonely.’ (Letitia, speaking on what she missed when relationship ended)
	20	‘Like I can tell him anything, and talk about anything.’ and ‘He [her boyfriend] knows all my secrets, and I know his.’ (Kendra)
	21	‘Just like a best friend but your boyfriend.’ (Letitia, explaining what a boyfriend was)
	22	‘Besides having a best friend, you could have somebody else to be able to trust and talk to.’ (Lena)
	23	‘It’s like we have a friendship and a relationship at the same time, so it’s like he feels that, like I said, he can talk to me whenever he needs to talk to me.’ (Mariana)
	24	‘… just be completely myself [with her boyfriend] without having to worry about being silly or dumb, just know that if I’m myself he likes it.’ (Natalia)
	25	‘I was happy and that went on for eight months and he was such a big part of my life. That was the only person I really ran to for everything. He was my best, best friend. I loved him so much.’ (Diana)
	26	‘Because just like we really care about each other and it’s like, you’re intimate … it’s like, me and him are really into each other.’ (Tiffany)
	27	‘I had like the flu when I was sick, and he like, he got out of work like one thirty in the morning, came over in the middle of the night and bring me medicine.’ (Kendra)
	28	‘I thought it was really fun, we just like always laughed together, we always talked and stuff.’ (Natalia)
Companionship	29	‘We go to his house, watch movies, come to my house, watch movies, go out and just whatever, go to parties together, do a whole bunch of stuff, just be like always together.’ (Renee)
	30	‘He [her boyfriend] keeps saying that I have a good sense of humor no matter what, I’m always up and about … he’s like, ‘That’s why I enjoy … when I’m with you or even hearing your voice … I get happy.’ (Rochelle)
	31	‘We go to his house, watch movies, come to my house, watch movies, go out and just whatever, go to parties together, do a whole bunch of stuff, just be like always together.’ (Renee)
	32	‘They [boyfriends] come over and spend time with you.’ (Claudia, explaining the benefit of a boyfriend)
	33	‘[He would] be able to take me places, not like with money or but like to go places with me, come around my family and stuff.’ (Teresa, explaining what she would require in a relationship)
Theme 3: Negotiating Intimacy Respectfully
	34	‘He won’t go there to front me off in front of everybody, trying to make me look bad [boyfriend will not publically confront or embarrass Tiffany to address a rumor] But like he would talk to me about it and it’s like, we have a lot of respect for each other, and I have a lot of respect for him and I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him.’ (Tiffany)
	35	‘We usually, if we are screaming and yelling, we figure it out that now we talk, and I be like well you can call me back when you calm down.’ (Diana)
	36	‘We talked about it. He said like he wouldn’t rush me.’ (Jennifer, speaking about sex)
	37	‘I felt like he respected me to wait and stuff and so I wasn’t in a rush.’ (Teresa)
	38	‘We discussed it [sex] before we did it ‘cause like, he didn’t want me to be uncomfortable when the time came so. I said, yeah, ‘cause when I say no, I mean no.’ (Renee)
	39	‘Me and [boyfriend] call it making love because it really does, like the first time we did like I cried. That sounds so like a little kid, but we waited like a really long time, and like we almost did it [had sex] … and I was like, ‘No, I want to make sure it’s right.’ And he was like, ‘I don’t wanna do it unless it means something to you.’ (Kendra)
	40	‘There’s nothing we really disagree about like, I mean, he knows my limits, and I know his limits, and you know, he respects them, and we respect each other for that and stuff like that so there’s nothing really that we’ve ever fought about that included sex.’ (Diana)
	41	‘I did it [had sex] with [current boyfriend], it’s like okay, I trust myself to do this, it’s not even if he wants me to do this cause I want to do this, and I feel comfortable with him. I love him so I was like, ‘Okay.’ (Rochelle)
	42	‘We may kiss or hug … it’s been times that it got close to having sex but it’s not like I’ve done it. I’m waiting for my time to come. Not that I don’t love him or I care about him, it’s just not the time.’ (Tiffany)
Theme 4: Relationships Conflict Through Control and Abuse
Controlling behaviors	43	‘He was smothering me, and I was getting real mad. He was just calling me five times a day.’ (Lena)
	44	‘It just annoyed me because I wanted my own space and I didn’t have it … I would come home and be home for like 15 minutes and he was at my house.’ (Claudia)
	45	‘Each guy wants to go out with me, they want to like call every day … he [speaking of her current partner] is the kind of guy that next day he wants to marry you.’ (Maria)
	46	‘I’ve been there and like changed everything for a guy, and I don’t want to do that anymore. Like, I don’t want to be like, ‘Oh, you don’t like my nose ring, I’ll take it out.’ Which I was gonna do that with [past boyfriend]. Like, I was ‘Whatever you want,’ and [current boyfriend] doesn’t like it, but I’m not taking it out …’ (Kendra, after learning from a previous relationship)
	47	‘I want to know who he is with, where he at, what he doing, why he call at a certain time, I want to know it all.’ (Jasmine)
	48	‘Yeah, it’s like, your old man, it’s your property … that’s my definition of it but you know, it’s like he’s yours. He’s not everybody else’s.’ (Tiffany)
	49	‘All the rest of them girls [girls her boyfriend did not have permission to talk to on the phone], you’d better tell them you got to go somewhere, hang up the phone or don’t pick it up because these girls out here nowadays are grimy and you cannot trust none of them.’ (Renee, describing her rules of who her boyfriend is allowed to talk to on the phone)
	50	‘I told him he’s on punishment [after a particular offense not detailed]. He can’t touch me, can’t hug me, can’t kiss me. The only thing he could do is shake my hand … That’s how I was and he wasn’t understanding; so I had to let him know, I had to let him feel that I was not playing [she was serious]. (Renee)
	51	‘I think if you touch another person or another person touches you, that’s your property or like say here if you are a girlfriend, well if you have that tag, that’s your property. That’s someone to trespass on your property, I think.’ (Jennifer)
Physical violence	52	‘I was yelling at him [her boyfriend], and he got up and he punched me in the arm, and like I flew into the TV, and knocked some stuff over, and I still wanted to talk to him after that happened. He’s like, ‘I just hit you. Why aren’t you leaving?’ … and I’m like ‘I want to talk about it.’ … I was stupid looking back on it, but at the moment I was just like that was my whole world, and I just wanted to talk about it and fix things, and it’s really stupid looking back.’ (Kendra)
	53	‘[her boyfriend] never hit a girl before and I just pushed the limit so …’ (Renee, justifying her boyfriend trying to punch her)
	54	‘So he’s [her boyfriend] like ‘come back over here’ or whatever, and he’ll just grab my arm, but it’s nothing like, he’s never pushed me or anything.’ (Diana)
	55	‘I would just hit him [her boyfriend] because I knew nothing else was going to make him mad and I thought that might make him mad … I just wanted him to be mad because he made me mad. I think that was just because like I cared about him.’ (Ruby)
	56	‘We fought and he said something that made me so angry and I shoved him into a glass sliding door … because he made me that mad.’ (Kendra)
	57	‘I’m gonna come up to you all at the same time and punch you all both in your all lips while you all still kissing.’ (Renee, a hypothetical threat to her boyfriend, if she found her boyfriend with another girl.)
	58	‘[hitting him], that’s just how I let him know that I was mad.’ (Claudia)
	59	‘I was abusive but he didn’t get mad about it. He didn’t react to me, he’d just stand there and let me smack him … cause he liked me so much, if he didn’t put up with it, then I’d just wave bye.’ (Ruby)
	60	‘I was abusive to him, but in ways he deserved it’. [After disappearing for a few days and later finding him she said] ‘And he sees me, he goes up the stairs real fast ‘cause he knew[participant was mad] and then I went in there and I smacked him in his face.’ (Ruby)
	61	‘I’ve beaned [hit on the head] him before too though, just because he hit me.’ (Jasmine)
Psychological violence	62	‘He had people calling me and threatening me, and he threatened me and I had a chance to change my cell phone number and … he was so mean.’ (Letitia, after the break-up)
	63	‘I was so mean to him. He just took it so much from me.’ (Letitia)
	64	‘We argue, like I don’t know, we keep arguing about who’s right. I yell at him more. (Teresa)
Sexual violence/pressure	65	‘One guy he just, oh my god, he pressured me so much into having sex … he was just like, ‘I don’t feel like using condom’ … pressured and pressured me on. ‘Okay, you know, just don’t … he didn’t use a condom I think I got herpes from him, like he pressured me so hard, ‘cause we did it like more than once … I wanted to cry and I was just like, oh why am I doing this and it was really too late. I’m like, okay, well it’s too late now. So I might as well keep doing it …’ (Letitia)
	66	‘If I said no, then I mean he’d question it, but it wasn’t like he would try and pressure me, he’d just say, why not and stuff like that.’ (Claudia)

Full article at:  http://goo.gl/UJQysm

By:  Ellen M. Volpe, PhD, RN, MSN, Mercedes M. Morales-Alemán, PhD, and Anne M. Teitelman, PhD, FNP-BC, FAANP, FAAN

Ellen M. Volpe, University at Buffalo, School of Nursing, Buffalo, New York, USA;

Contributor Information.

Address correspondence to Ellen M. Volpe, University at Buffalo, School of Nursing, Wende Hall, 3435 Main St, Buffalo, NY 14214, USA. Email:ude.olaffub@eplovme

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